Who Is Crushing Your Dreams?

I’ve been a little bit out of action this last week, nothing serious, but enough to make me incapable of talking (probably to the delight of more than a few people) after losing my voice, to top off the other annoying symptoms. But I’m not telling you this for sympathy.

After a couple of days of being ill I decided ‘enough is enough’, I don’t do ‘being ill’ and went off to see the doctor as a last resort. It was whilst sat in the waiting room, that I had a kind of mini-epiphany. Unfortunately, it’s not the kind of epiphany that’s going to change the world in a massive way, but it may be the small kind of insight that changes the way you view a lot of things, most notably your dream and aspirations, and how you approach a business.

Now, this may be stating the bleeding obvious here, but when ill, we go to a doctor (in most cases) and in spite of other ‘remedies’ that are offered by friends, family and colleagues we still take the advice of a doctor above any other ‘wisdom’.

Similarly, if your car broke down and you knew someone who was a car mechanic, you would seek his or her advice as you would the local ‘computer nerd’ that we all know of when our computer breaks etc. You get the picture, right?

When we want advice, guidance or just an opinion it makes sense that we speak to someone with at least better qualifications in that area than ourselves. Preferably, they are very experienced (with a good track record in the area of expertise that we need) and very qualified to offer us the best advice and guidance for our benefit.

This is nothing new. Kings, presidents, wealthy business people and many others in positions of power have always had advisors and experts in specific areas with whom they consult and take advice from. Many may see these powerful and successful people as probably not being in need of such advice, and certainly in much less need of it than those who struggle from day to day and who are generally unsuccessful. Ironic as it may be, it is this very activity of ‘masterminding’ with others that contributes to their success.

All of this may seem very logical, and you’re probably wondering when I’m going to get to the point, and so here it is:

Despite the realization that in so many areas of our lives, we are better to seek advice from those with more experience and more qualified than ourselves, why is it that when it comes to starting a business we take the advice and guidance of our friends and family?

I have lost count of the number of times where a client has decided not to move forward with their business because their spouse, friends or family have been vehemently against it.

On the way home from the doctor’s office, I bumped into a friend of mine who is a hairdresser and has been trying to set up his own salon for some time now. He has some very big dreams and goals, yet the main reason he hasn’t done so (despite having been offered the money required to invest and get set-up) has been because certain family members have voiced their ‘opinions’ on his chances of success, or as it was put to him, his likelihood of failing. During our conversation, I asked him about the background of the family members with the dissenting voices: had they ever run a business before? Were they wealthy? (Usually a sign of at least some business acumen because success leave clues)

Everything that could or might have qualified these people to offer advice or make assertions about the merits of a business was completely lacking. They had never run businesses of their own, they earned very little (below average earnings) and didn’t even have any real understanding of what he was trying to do. Yet, here was John (not his real name to protect the innocent) taking advice from people who were less than ill qualified to dish it out!

Pointing this out to John was just pointing out the obvious, but it was nevertheless something that he hadn’t even considered. I’m glad to say that he has vowed to ignore his ‘dream killing’ family, and get advice from people who are actually qualified in some way.

As I said at the start, it wasn’t a world changing epiphany by any means, but John’s situation is shockingly commonplace, and one that you may even find yourself in right now.

It got me to wondering about how many people’s dreams have been crushed by the very people who are supposed to love them most? How many dreams and goals were on the cusp of being realized, only to be stamped out by a spouse who threatens to leave, or family members who ostracize those who want to follow a different path?

What about you? Are those around you crushing your dreams?

Masterminding with other likeminded people is one of the five daily actions that all successful leaders take, and the above certainly underlines why.


By Simon Guilliard

Having spent over 15 years selling ‘big ticket’ corporate solutions, Simon brings a wealth of business and sales know-how to the table, with a unique entrepreneurial vision that is valued by customers and associates alike.


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